The Language of my Soul

I went to an awesome concert last night. Nickel Creek at an outdoor venue (which was kind of too small, but still cool...oh, and I've never been to an outdoor venue that allowed chairs). I couldn't see the whole time because of the people sitting in chairs right in front of me, but it was pretty cool, even though I already saw them on this tour in December, so it was a similar set list.

I love music. I love playing music, singing, listening to good music. Especially I love leading the music portion of our church service (most people call it "praise and worship", but I think that is misleading because the whole service is a "worship service" and that gives the impression that the only part of the service that we praise and worship God is while we're singing...it isn't true). It's the one time when I feel totally right with God.

I think I've mentioned something about spiritual gifts before, but I want to mention it again. Music is the one spiritual gift that I know I have. God may have blessed me with others, but this is the one that I am most aware of. I just know that I'm exactly where He wants me when I'm singing His praise. In Chariots of Fire the character Eric Liddel says that God made him fast and when he runs he feels God's pleasure. That's how I feel about leading the music in church. I'm not the best singer in the world, or even in our church, but God has gifted me in this way and I won't deny it. Possibly I'm being proud again, but it's the one thing that I'm sure of. I was made for this. God made me for this.

And that is why I'm in a bind. I can't do it alone because I only sing. The couple that I do it with currently are probably moving next spring/summer. My husband currently plays with us, but doesn't want to be the leader of the group. What do I do? That is the question of the day.