Christmas and Family

We had a great Christmas this year. On Christmas Eve we went to our church's Christmas Eve service which was very nice. The music was good and the rest of the service was meaningful in a way that is hard to describe. It wasn't the typical Christmas Eve service. I really got to reflect on what life in Christ means and how it effects my life and the lives of those around me. It was encouraging.

We got some good gifts for/from each other. I got a teapot with an infuser in it so I can brew multiple cups of tea. It also gave me the opportunity to get some loose teas, which I haven't had before. I'm pretty excited about it. We also got a gift from our dog (he does that every year...I'm not sure how, since he doesn't have any money). He bought us a hot water heater that takes about thirty seconds to heat water for tea or cocoa or oatmeal or whatever. It works really well and it's easier/faster than the microwave. My husband got a pickup for his acoustic guitar and the Simpsons Season 9 DVDs from me. We also got some towels from his parents (which we needed) and some jackets from my aunt (they match...we're so cute). There were a few other random things, too. Overall, it was a good Christmas (I stayed in my pajamas all day). I made my first glazed ham, which was easier than I thought.

On the other hand, I really missed my family this Christmas. Christmas is a big deal for my family and it's always hard not to be there. Actually, I've been missing them a lot lately, in general. My sister had a baby the Saturday before Christmas and I wasn't there to see it. Ever since I was there for her wedding this summer I've been missing being with my family a lot. I miss all of them, and wish I was there. I moved away right when I was the age when I could start appreciating them and getting to know them as people. That's why the best gift I got this Christmas was from my dad. He is using his frequent flyer miles to fly me out to surprise my sister (I don't think she reads this, so I'm safe in saying that). It's not that the other presents I got weren't good, because they were. It's just that I really needed to see my family. I really feel like I'm missing everything that happens in everybody's lives. I used to be able to watch the kids grow up, but now that I'm old enough for that to mean something, I can't do it. I know that I've said before that I couldn't move back to the midwest because it's too flat, but now I think that I could live with just having vacations to places with mountains. I'm willing to sacrifice scenery in order to have relationships with my family members.


But, at the same time that I miss my family, ever since they found out that my sister was having a baby (I knew before them), I've been getting crazy pressure to have a baby, too. I seriously get it every time I talk to my mom. So, then I mention it to my husband because all the baby talk gets me thinking about babies and then it causes problems with us because he isn't ready. I finally told my mom that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I hope she understands that I mean ever. I don't want to talk about when I'm going to have a baby ever with anyone. That is a matter for my husband and me to discuss, not anybody else. Because, really, nobody else's opinions matter. When it's time, then we'll do it. Until then, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Period. It causes too much strife in my marriage for it to be a regular topic of conversation. I don't want to upset my husband anymore and I don't want to be mad at my family, so let's just not talk about it.